Through You
by Elegy
Summary: Faith's thoughts about Buffy


**Through You******

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****TITLE:"Through You" 

AUTHOR: Elegy 

FEEDBACK: Yes, please! (elegy1@voila.fr) 

SPOILERS : This story takes place after the fourth season. 

RATING: PG-13 for implied violence and some rude words. 

DISCLAIMER:Faith, Buffy and all other characters belong to Joss Whedon, WB, etc. I own nothing, except for my passion for Faith. 

NOTE: This is a sort of poem with Faith's POV about Buffy. 

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I'd like to stick this knife in your guts like you plunged it inside me 

I'd like you to feel the blade penetrating you and freezing you 

I'd like you to feel the time stop and your heart paralize 

I'd like you to see in my eyes what I saw in your eyes 

Treachery. Pain. Relief. Regret. 

I'd like to see you falling down from this cursed roof 

I'd like you to live these months of endless sleep 

All this time lost for nothing, for him, for me 

Because in that instant you had finally joined me 

In the abyss of my veiled bloody rage 

In the despair of never living for anyone 

In the bitter awareness of being nothing 

Because you had come to my side 

That you had shared my violence and my madness 

In that instant when the cold overwhelmed me 

In that painful pleasure of feeling you touch me 

We had shared this moment when we fall into the confines of darkness 

The passage to the foulness of the mind 

You think that you lost your innocence, your purity next to me 

I only revealed what you already had in you 

A Slayer is never innocent 

She tracks, she strikes, she kills 

And she starts again and again 

Because it's her ineluctable and tragic destiny 

Because she's the Chosen one 

You thought that you could escape from this shady power 

The pleasure you feel when you fight 

When your stake turns evil into dust 

When your sword slices monstruous heads 

When you had plunged this blade into me 

You loved to do it and you'll want to do it again, indefinitely 

Not because it's your duty or because you have to save the world once again 

But because you like to kill 

What is the difference between us and the monsters we slay? 

We are predators, blood turns us on 

You could deny it but you know that, you saw it in me, you tried to flee from it 

But instinct will catch you again, already caught you 

You think you are indispensable, invincible 

But we are replaceable, indefinitely 

When one dies, another rises 

Like our endless fight 

A vampire disappears and ten others appear 

You have never listened to me 

You have never wanted to see what I really had in my heart 

You caught a glimpse of it and you were afraid 

Like an animal, fear made you aggressive 

You feared what you guessed in me 

You were scared of resemblance, you clung to differences 

You could not face the truth 

Because it's you that you saw in me 

I'm your dark double, your carnal negative, the awakening of your flesh 

So you preferred to destroy me 

You ignored my feelings, hid the desire I inspired you 

You rejected me because I represented danger 

The danger of the questioning 

The danger of violent passion 

The danger of the intoxication of the senses 

You froze in your image, in your role 

I am the movement, I am the unpredictable 

You are immobile and vulnerable 

People always said you were the strongest, the best one 

But you know it's wrong 

You know it's me 

You understood it that day on the roof 

You knew it when you saw my blood on your hands 

That blood that I would have given to you if you had asked me 

You think you are above evil forces 

You thought that you could not be corrupted 

But you already lived in the shadow of a vampire 

A vampire who devoured your vital energy 

By offering your blood you were already lost, perverted 

By taking my blood you were definitely converted 

And when I was in your body, I knew 

I knew that I was not mistaken 

I knew you more intimately than if I had fucked you 

I knew what you felt 

I knew what it meant to be you 

Like you knew what it was to be me 

And what frightened you the most 

Was not to have lost your body 

It was to realize that what you saw in me 

It was you 

I am your distorting mirror, I am the reflect of your animal urges 

I'm you 

You're my sister, my lover and my creator 

I'm your perfect double, similar and opposed 

Night and day 

Evil and good 

Violence and sweetness 

Light and darkness 

I knew that you loved me 

I knew that you hated me 

I removed the veil of your blindness 

But you never could face your own contradictions 

You froze in your role 

Infinitely predictable 

I am the movement, I am your catharsis 

I'd like you to have opened your eyes 

I'd like you to see the scar of my tortured self 

I'd like you to feel the pain of being alone 

I'd like you to understand what you have lost 

I'd like you to feel the blade of the betrayed love 

Thrusting in you more deeply than that you plunged in my body 

I'd like you to feel the ecstasy of pain 

As if it was my fingers that penetrated you 

Like I dreamt about it many times 

And like I know that you wanted it 

Finish us off in a perfect fusion 

I'd like you to cry in frustration 

Like you left me so often 

I'd like you to know the pain of being nothing 

I'd like you to die thinking of me 

I'd like you to suffer thinking of yourself 

I'd like you to look in that fucking mirror 

And see me at last 

Through you. 

***** 


End file.
